Ban-ocaust

... Yes, the title was a holocaust reference...

... I don't care if you are offended...

Anyways, on to the non-serious post that shouldn't offend anyone who isn't retarded

So I am going about my job as a server admin and playing halo (I know, demanding job, isn't it?... they should pay me...) and I joined our first server seeing that there were players there, but no admin.

So I get on and... well, first of all, I have to say that on SoD servers there is no cussing or vulgarity on our servers. Aka: Speak kid friendly.

Everyone on the server swearing and yelling n***** this and n***** that, so I say what I am trained to.

SoD Laserx: No cussing or offensive language please.

Notice I asked please, so they couldn't have been those people who have the mind of a second grader and would say:

Guy1: Well you didn't say please.

... They would have gotten a response as such:

*The server administrator has banned you from this server*

Quick note: They are all apart of a clan.
Clan name not given to protect the functionally retarded.

Surprisingly, they don't stop... I just had a feeling they wouldn't

ClanGuy1: Shut the **** up.
SoD Laserx: Banned
ClanGuy1 has quit.
ClanGuy2: What the **** was that for? Unban him you *****
SoD Laserx: Banned
ClanGuy2 has quit.

The two others are silent... at least they have some respect for my power.

Welcome ClanGuy5.
Welcome ClanGuy6.
Welcome ClanGuy7.
Welcome ClanLeader.

ClanLeader: Why are you banning my clan members?
SoD Laserx: Not following server rules.
ClanLeader: What rules?
SoD Laserx: No cussing.
ClanLeader: **** you, we are playing on this server ******.
SoD Laserx: *sigh* A group of morons would only follow a moron...
SoD Laserx: Banned
ClanLeader has quit.

Now they are cussing at me like crazy. Four guys just using every word you could imagine in every way you could imagine. They actually entertained me for the ten seconds I gave them to speak their minds.

SoD Laserx: Hahahaha... you guys are funny...
SoD Laserx: Ban Ban Ban Ban Ban
ClanGuy3 quit.
ClanGuy4 quit.
ClanGuy5: Unban them now you f***er
ClanGuy5 quit.
ClanGuy6 quit.

Now some of you may have noticed that, when you do the math, there is one left. Well you are right.


ClanGuy7: Why haven't you banned me?
SoD Laserx: You never cussed. You are free to stay.
SoD Laserx: How does it feel to have survived the ban-ocaust?
ClanGuy7 has quit.
SoD Laserx: No one likes my holocaust jokes... >.>

...

I am not a bad person... just my humor is, what some people would say, off...

... I wonder if I will get any hate posts...
(Honestly, I wonder if anyone is here... maybe a funny smiley will bring them in... I can have it at the top... yeah, that might work...)

...

(For those who read all of this, yes, that was the purpose of that smiley...)

I is nubtart... apparently

So, I go through my normal computer starting up/logging on process of checking the forums, followed by the servers. No one has posted anything interesting and the servers were as dead as Hiroshimaafter August 6, 1945... so I get onto Halo through the normal way of getting a game: The server list.

I see a nice 12/16 people CTF Blood Gulch game and I join looking forward to a nice, relaxing blood bath.

The first thing I see when I join the game was as follows:

Unstapable (no that is how he spelled it): Only nubs use the pistol.

My first though is "Oh great, some guy that can't take dieing". So I do what I do in these situations: I carry them out to see how stupid the person really is. This stuff makes me laugh. It was kind of nice because other people backed up my opinion.

Me: Uh, that is where you are mistaken kind (haha) sir.
Unstapable: Everyone knows that the pistol is a nub weapon.
Other Player1: Uhh no...
Me: Yay someone with a brain.
Unstapable: *non-kid friendly words*

So we go on playing. I see a red enemy buddy (except replace "buddy" with "victim") and he grabs an over shield, takes out his pistol and starts shooting at me.

Miss.

Miss.

Miss.

I start shooting at him.

Head shot.

Head shot.

Head shot.

Three more shots.

Dead.

Unstapable was killed by SoD Laserx

I stop, to see how much further I could poke at his retarded opinions/brain until he quit the game.

Me: That seemed a lot like a pistol.
Unstapable: Yeah I decided to go noob style.
Me: That's your style, isn't it.
Unstapable: Just copying you.
Me: Besides the pwning and hitting, you did pretty good...
Unstapable: Sorry I am not as accomplished as you noob.

...

Me: So you are saying I am a noob because I am better than you...
Him: No.
Me: You just said that... didn't he everyone?
OtherPlayer2: Just shut up and play.
Me: No no no... I gotta listen to his crappy logic... it will make me laugh...
Unstapable: Are you calling me stupid...
Me: Now now now, I never said that... but I hinted at it strongly.

The de-de-dur (See: Mentally handicapped) statements had stopped coming.

After another game had gone by and I was waiting for the next game to start, the retard starts talking again.

Unstapable: Well goodbye losers.

That statement alone caused my brain to twitch.
The guy was in dead last.
1 kill. (This actually surprised me because he wouldn't have been able to shoot an afk person)
29 deaths.
0 Assists.
0 Captures.

*Sigh* these people make me want to go out and kick a small, defenseless animal.

Welcome One and All

I belong to an awesome group called Soldiers of Demolition (SoD) and I, myself, am an admin on our servers.

Hurray for the power of banning.

Anyways, this is a blog about the retarded people, the haxzorzing people and (on occasion) the ones that give me hope for humanity on halo.

Yes... Halo... as in Halo 1... kickin' it old school, baby.

So, I hope I make you laugh.

I hope I make you cry.

I hope I make you learn.

And I hope that you come to realize that I don't care about the last two.